Successful business networking – News Flash: It’s Not About YOU

Say the words “business networking” and what likely comes to mind? Well, if you have been involved in business for any time at all, you probably have a vision of a few dozen people in a hotel ballroom, all clutching business cards and hoping to make as many connections as possible.  It didn’t even matter if the connections were high-quality – the belief seemed to be that it was all about the quantity of business cards you were able to collect. Somehow “more business” was merely a matter of numbers.

But that really isn’t the way it works. If you approach networking in the typical way, your attitude is working against you.  You see, it’s not about YOU and how many connections YOU can make; successful networking is about what you can do for others.

“Wait, a minute,” you’re probably thinking at this point. “I’m networking to develop more connections for MY business; I’m not there to give someone else a boost.”

But that’s my point. Virtually everyone approaches networking from the “what’s in it for ME?” mindset. And, because most people take this approach, you’ll just be another one in a sea of “seekers.”  You’ll get lost in the noise.

Instead, consider a different way: put yourself in the shoes of the person with whom you want to network.  If someone approaches you with the attitude of selling you on something – even if you are being sold on them as a person or what they can do for you – you have a natural repelling reaction. We all do. We have an instinctive aversion to being sold. So, if someone approaches you, and they take the position of “let me tell you all about ME,” you’re less likely to listen.  If they lead off asking about you, what you do, how you came to be there, you’re more likely to engage in a discussion. Because they are asking about YOU, not just telling you about themselves.

How do we connect this with business networking? Well, if you think about what you have to offer someone or an organization, purely and simply, without pressing what YOU can get out of them, you have a much better chance of actually making a connection.

Leading with an approach something like… “Hi, I’m Jacob Green.  I’m with XYZ Company.  I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, and I was just wondering what you were hoping to gain from coming today.  Perhaps if you tell me a little about you and what you’re looking for, I might be able to help.”  Notice how you put the emphasis on how you might be able to help without expecting the other party to be of help to YOU?  It wouldn’t be unusual for the other person to reciprocate later by asking how they can help you, but you made THEM the focus of your conversation. Much different than saying, “Hi, I’m Jacob Green.  What do you do or who are you with?”

Now, here’s the one key tip you need to know to really be successful at this: you MUST be authentic and genuine. If you are faking an interest in the other person JUST to get a foot in the door, you will likely fail.  People don’t like phonies and if you come off as insincere, not only are you “selling,” (the first no-no), you are disingenuous.  Doubly-bad. Not only will you find your approach doesn’t work with your first “target,” word will likely get around that you are just a player who is looking only to get, without having anything to give.

So, the next time you go networking, think about 2-3 areas in which you might be able to help another person and make your sole objective to make a connection or two for whom you can be a resource.  Then, be sure you follow through if you promise to do something for them. Once you do that, stay in touch, but, again, for how you can continue to help them. Don’t be surprised if those individuals think of you the next time they can help you or find resource that they can connect you with. Your circle of contacts will increase, but more importantly, you will be seen as someone who gives. And that, is the most powerful networking tool of all.